Hurry up and.... stop

I continue to learn these hard lessons about getting hmmm... less young. I can honestly say that the habit of running has fully gripped my whole being. I think of nothing else it seems but where or how far, of whether or not I am fully hydrating during the day at work. I worry about the effects of walking 10+ miles at work or the thousands of stairs I climb each week and how it will hurt when I run on those swollen knees. I have to keep from hurrying home and driving too fast so that I can ... what? Well, to experience the pain, the agony, the heartache of another failed run before I forced to pull back when my calf starts to cramp.
But oh how beautiful it feels to be out there moving again. In those brief few miles I feel alive and love to feel my lungs swelling to breathe in the air. That awesome struggle of mind over body when the muscles tire and dreaded thoughts of failure creep in. And when I feel the cramps begin I pull back again, and walk. Not too proud to accept the limitations I've placed on myself by sitting for 20 years but also comfortable in the knowledge that it is only a matter of time. Maybe longer than I thought but surely I will achieve this goal.